In the Town Square today a charming woman was very keen that I should go into her tent for a health check at WALTHAMSTOW HEALTH EXPO.
My parents always warned me against strange women who want to lure you into a tent, so I took her leaflets instead.
From reading them I discovered that inside the tent you can 'Discover Your Health Age', 'Learn About the 8 Laws of Health' and 'Review Natural Remedies'(the kinds of thing that make Ben Goldacre's pulse start to race, I imagine). There was nothing about Not Driving Your Car Into a Pedestrian Zone, but then why should there be? Walking is an increasingly dangerous activity and more and more people are sensibly opting to encase themselves in a ton of metal with airbags to provide maximum protection and a safer, healthier lifestyle.
One leaflet promised a N.E.W.S.T.A.R.T.
'N' stood for Nutrition and the first 'T' stood for 'Temperance'. Temperance? I'm not remotely interested in Temperance. I'm more interested in calculating how many bottles of deliciously fruity reduced-price Jacob's Creek Sauvignon Blanc I can lug home on my bicycle without my spokes starting to buckle.
The Health Expo offers follow-up programmes which promise 'healing to the soul' and involve visiting the the church hall of the organisers, Walthamstow Seventh Day Adventist Church, 78-80 Boundary Road, London E17 8JU
