Thursday, 22 October 2009

'Spectator' watch

(Above) Spot the chilling similarity

I was born in the same county as Rob Ainsley, so when the train pulled into the terminus and I spotted an abandoned copy of The Spectator on a seat I naturally snatched it up. A free magazine is not to be spurned.

I allude to the issue dated 17 October 2009.

Opening it up I immediately encountered an expensive two page advert headed JOY IS TIMELESS. For a sporty two-seater BMW, ‘The Ultimate Driving Machine’. I turned over. The next two pages were a glossy advert from ExxonMobil. It was all about how Green this multinational oil corporation is, and how it is passionate about ‘reducing greenhouse emissions’. Isn’t that comforting?

Then a lot of stuff about the Conservative Party conference, which I skipped.

Bryan Forbes’s ‘Diary’. Bryan, like ExxonMobil, is obviously a passionate Green. He recounts his recent trip to California for a first night – a 10 hour flight to L.A., then a two hour drive to Santa Barbara. Then straight back to London. Bryan is vexed about airline food and the long walk required at Terminal Five.

The letters page. ‘Cyclists beware.’ Anthony J. Burnett writes in to complain about motorcyclists and cyclists. Bikers are selfish and thoughtless people, whose powerful headlights make life intolerable for drivers at night. Cyclists are no better. They constantly ride three abreast, ‘chattily pedalling’, wholly indifferent to Mr Burnett, as he fumes behind them. They need ‘to take a look at the rules of the road.’ Move to the London Borough of Waltham Forest, Mr Burnett. I have never seen cyclists riding two abreast, let alone three. Quite often I never see another cyclist at all!


Ah, this is just the stuff! A splendid headline.


James Delingpole gets a page to talk about the Third Reich and the uncanny similarities with modern Greens. Crikey, that’s so true! The Nazis had ‘the Jewish question’, plunged the world into war and exterminated six million people in death camps, while the Greens are driven by thoughts of ‘Man-Made Climate Change Doom’ and ‘persecute and try to silence anyone who disagrees with their ideological position’. That’s so true! Each night in London you hear the sound of breaking glass as rampaging gangs of Greens smash the windows of car showrooms and terrorise and beat-up innocent 4X4 drivers. Even at this moment Caroline Lucas and Jean Lambert are no doubt finalising their plans for the mass extermination of BMW owners, once they have seized power.

The Nazis, confides Delingpole, ‘were also big greens – go figure.’

A shrewd point, that. People forget that Hitler was one of the first roads protesters. When Hermann Göring sent the Luftwaffe to bomb British cities he could barely sleep at night for thinking about those aircraft emissions.

If James Delingpole is ever unavailable to write his column, I am happy to substitute. I could do a piece headed GORDON BROWN, LIKE HITLER, TAKES THREE SUGARS IN HIS TEA.

So, please, Vote Conservative, and help save the nation from the Green terror, the euro, and the merciless totalitarian tyranny of speed cameras, traffic calming and parking attendants.