Pimp my cycle campaign

The London Cycling Campaign and its corporate sponsors:

The Corporate Partnership Scheme is an easy way of supporting our cause and showing your staff, customers or stakeholders that you are serious about cycling. Our advice and support will ensure you are making smart decisions that will work for your cycle users.

Support with promotion & marketing – we have many years experience in running fun and successful cycling promotion events. We can support your promotional events, handle the questions, deal with the doubts and provide all the information.

But have all those years of experience in running successful cycling promotion events really delivered? London has one of the lowest modal shares in Europe for cycling. Cycling is dying out in Enfield, struggling to survive in Newham, declining on a major route in Waltham Forest, and complete crap in Redbridge. According to the latest TfL figures, modal share in Hackney is down from 8 per cent to 4 per cent.

But, hey, that’s not the kind of information any smiley-smiley cycling optimist wants to hear. Instead let’s turn to the list of Corporate affiliates of LCC

Purely at random I picked out

Kingston University (“Quality teaching and wide-ranging support in a vibrant and diverse university community.”)

Then I turned to the university’s website to see what advice it has for visitors. Let’s remember that the LCC's Corporate Partnership Scheme is a way of showing your staff, customers or stakeholders that you are serious about cycling.

This is what the Kingston University website says about visiting:

It is easy to get to the University:
• by train
• by bus
• by car
• from the airport

Details are supplied.

And that’s it.

There’s bugger all about cycling to this university or any cycle parking which might exist once you arrive.

This is why we at the Krapp Cycling Institute are urging everyone to write to British Nuclear Fuels asking them to send a cheque to the London Cycling Campaign. Once the cheque is received BNF can then be identified as a Green, environmentally-friendly, cycling-friendly organisation. No car parking facilities need be compromised. Cycling-friendly corporate environmentalism – it’s good for the sponsor, it’s good for the LCC. (As for cyclists – sod them!)

Pardon my French.