Tuesday 12 April 2011

An iconic contraflow cycle lane

Cyclists get the red carpet treatment in Leyton.

If you look at the list of ‘Achievements’ on the website of the LCC’s Waltham Forest branch you will read ‘Helping to get the contraflow cycle-lane approved in Manor Road, Leyton.’

Yes, indeed. What not to like about this exemplary example of permeability? The British way is best and we want none of those nasty Dutch ideas in Waltham Forest, thank you very much. The bollard in the centre of the cycle access helps to prevent the spread of the ‘cargo bike’ contagion.

(Above) A two inch ridge ensures that cyclists entering the cycle path are given a helpful jolt, ensuring that there is no danger of nodding off while cycling. It also helps to deter cyclists from carrying dogs or children on their bikes, as many irresponsible cyclists do in drug-crazed places like Amsterdam.

(Below) A particularly impressive touch. The sign instructs all traffic to turn left, to follow the one-way system. But those cyclists who aren’t going straight on along the Manor Road contraflow are advised that if they turn right they can get to the George Mitchell secondary school. The only problem is that the highway engineers long ago converted Park Road to one-way, meaning that any cyclist who follows this advice will find themselves cycling directly into traffic coming towards them. But not to worry, if you are killed your family should be able to secure a substantial amount in compensation from the Council for its gross criminal negligence.

(Below) Crap design and a complete subservience to the car-centric status quo? It must be the London Cycle Network!

And this is what happens when the contraflow lane meets the junction with Capworth Street. Classic design and maintenance. As the song says, This is the end. Of our elaborate plans, the end.