Things to do during the world cup:
(i) Decorate house with England flags and show you are the most patriotic person on your street.
(ii) Hang flags from your car windows to show you are the most patriotic motorist in the traffic jam.
(iii) Attach world cup pub board to cycle stand.
(iv) Under no circumstances allow the neighbours to display a flag bigger than yours.
(v) Watch as England are quickly knocked out of the competition. Blame foreign referee.
Meanwhile, a feminist from Leytonstone asks Who cares about a bunch of misogynist jocks tossing a ball around?
'The population of Chingford' is the answer, judging by all the flags.
