Thursday 18 November 2010

Top terror tips: just ask Osama

Q: Our local al Qaeda branch has successfully built a bomb, the only problem is that it’s quite bulky. At a time of heightened terror alert among the infidels how we can plant this in a town centre without it attracting suspicion?

Osama says: Simply place your bomb by a cycle stand. Large, suspicious objects can safely be left here for weeks without attracting any attention at all. Like this one planted in Walthamstow Town Square five weeks ago!

Q. Our local al Qaeda branch would like to build an underground chamber for the storage of weapons, explosives, martyrdom videos etc. How can we construct a ventilation shaft without attracting suspicion?

Osama says: Easy-peasy. Build it in the London Borough of Waltham Forest. Here, ventilation shafts will attract no attention at all, as can be seen from this magnificent example built on Church Hill E17.