Thursday 29 July 2010

Design Guide for the Suppression of Cargo Bikes

Cargo bikes are a nasty foreign invention designed to make people think they can carry bulky items without the use of a car. The Dutch have some particularly shocking examples.

When designing cycle access at road closures every effort should be made to narrow the route in order to obstruct passage for cargo bikes. Cargo bikes can be over one metre wide and pose a serious threat to car-centric values. If lots of people started transporting goods by cargo bike, important road traffic like cars might well be held up. It would also be very bad for the oil and car industries.

Well done the highway engineers of the London boroughs of Redbridge (above, Hermitage Walk E18) and Waltham Forest (below, Edinburgh Road E17), who have made impressive efforts to stop people using cargo bikes.

Finally, let us never forget this horrifying example of cargo bike irresponsibility (below). Any normal British mother would drive her children in a People Carrier along the arduous half-mile route to school, driving on to the pavement or the school ‘no waiting’ markings in order to deposit them safely at the school gate. By contrast this disturbed Danish woman has spent so much money on looking good she has none left for petrol and is reduced to transporting her poor children in a wooden tub on wheels.